I called my parents yesterday. Mom and Dad, although separated, live quite near each other and not that far from where I study either, a two hours drive from my house. Mom was writing an essay for her work which is a local branch of a Heart Association, as it is called; it's an organization that gives people some good advice how not to die of a heart attack. Dad was about to go ice fishing with a friend.

Trying to listen what the nearest people to you are saying is really a chore. Since most of the annoying features one has but does not aknowledge can be found in the annoying features of other people, really encountering them is sometimes difficult. With a bit of training and shitloads of self-honesty one can start to re-collect the fragments of one's own unity from the others they've been projected onto.

This essential aspect of becoming a human being is for me one the most important factors of well being. It is really hard too. SInce throwing our dark sides inside out we think we are free from them. And every time we see those rejections in others it somehow happens that shit hits the fan. Funny, isn't it, how going outside in is the way to go as regards our psychological well being?

Taking back what's ours not only liberates us from the grips of percieved annoying features of others, but liberates others from us, too. I think we owe that to them, mmm? And, especially, we owe that to the people who are responsible for our arising.

This is how I like to start a new day! Got up at 6.30 am (been practicing that for couple of weeks now, doin' ok), brushed my teeth and combed my eyebrows, did zazen meditation for 25 minutes and headed for the gym. After sweating there for a half an hour or so, took a shower and had breakfast at the University cafeteria. At 9 am I'd already done all the necessary evils of taking care of body and spirit, and here I am, ready to plunge into the ever-present thickness of my mind module - trying to get through the course requirements of philosophy of justice.

I usually study at home. I really like the comfort of my own private space, but sometimes I need to go to the library to read. Like today, when the all the copies of the book I'm reading have been borrowed.

Taking care of the basic chores of well-being are best done, for me that is, the first thing in the morning. That way I don't need to leave them hanging on the back of my mind for the whole day. Since my conscious control is quite low it's better to program things that are good for me into automatic,  conditioned habits so I don't need to wrestle with the decision whether I'll do it or not. It's a losing battle where my laziest parts always win. I also try to find what are the little things that bring me the most results with the least amount of trouble. That's a good way to  make  the more important stuff stick. Personally I've found taking a shower every day, shaving every day, meditating daily and going to the gym (3 x week) very helpful in keeping me sane.

That's it for now. Blogging is a great way to fool myself that I'm doing something important when I'm really not. Keeping my schedule in check is something I need to work on next ;)

Parties suck!

Now that I've got you're attention, let me go off on a tangent. If you're inclined to spend at least an eyeful here at Zaadz, you've probably gotten a bit world-weary of your regular surroundings. If you're not, get off the computer and hang out with real people :) For me going to meat space parties has long since been somewhat of a necessary evil in order to maintain a social life worth mentioning. Nowadays I won't even mention it. Somehow it seems that the noble art of throwing a party seems to have stunted its growth to ... well, actually I see no growth at all. It's the same stuff year in and year out with drinking and schmoozing and partying till you puke. I have a faint feeling of fear that things aren't getting better on that front any time soon.

Now imagine going to a different kind of a party. Picture a house with, say, ten rooms plus a nice little patio or a lobby, where all the interesting things related to human life are discussed. Not only mulled over, but tips are given, stories are told and new friendships are made. Some may like each other and some may not; it doesn't matter since there's always enough room for everyone to hang around.

Imagine this house with it's ten rooms (+ the patio/lobby) as the party you've always wanted to attend but never got invited. Well, stop your dreaming and come on over! Life's a party and everyone's invited - to the PSYCHOPOD!

Yep, Psychopod! The party I never got invited to since it didn't exist. Well, like all good souls who feel scarred by the humdrum boredom and the wishy-washy nonsense of meaningless existence I had to come up with my own party. This party, called Psychopod  is, to quote Chris Anderson, "(my) official pre-release of Heaven".

The rooms represent the Ten Main Arenas of Life.  What I try to do with Psychopod is to figure out the basic niches where we humans live, rejoice and suffer. This isn't a final conclusion of hours upon hours of serious pondering; more of a result of my Aristotelian and Platonic sides punching each other in the nose and not deciding who's the winner. However, the party that I would love to hang out the most would include no less than these ten rooms, in no particular order:

*  Mind
*  Health
*  Spirituality
*  Self-Knowledge
*  Self-Discipline
*  Art
*  Relationships
*  Fun
*  Work
*  Wealth

So here's the blueprint, how's the practice? With the ten rooms and the Lobby of Life (I'm letting myself get away with a lot of silly stuff for being a non-native English speaker), there might be a discussion going on in the Mind Room about the nature of synchronity. Someone is not familiar with Ken Wilber's work, so everyone is throwing away suggestions on which of his books you should read first. And what is this thing called mind, anyway?

In the Health room people are exchanging their favourite tips on what to eat, what's the coolest way to excercise and does quitting smoking really do any good. Spirituality room is filled with incense-scented murmur about the coming Age of Aquarius, with someone shouting his favourite U.G. Krishnamurti quotes to piss the feelgooders off. She is of course scolded by the Host, and asked to sit in the corner of the Wealth Room, listening to discussions on money blueprints and why you're dumb, sick and broke.

Get the drift? Fun, yes? You bet! The idea is to collect the best of Zaadz and Human Life in one big glorious all night garage sale of a party. The doors are open for you to circulate, lurk and join in on the fun, and work, and wealth, and spirit, and... You got the drift, mmm?

Behind the partying is a always a purpose.  The one being here is driven by simple human kindness. We all suffer from the terminal dis-ease of birth and are here to make ourselves and our fellow patients feel better. We all live with this condition of life, and as I've heard someone say  “The tragedy of life is not death. The tragedy of life is what we allow to die inside of us while we live". It's actually by Dr. Norman Cousins, as quoted by Robin Sharma on his webite as his favourite quote.

So driven by the fact that life really is a party where everyone's invited I hereby invite everyone to share a moment, a story, a triumph, a tragedy, a quote, a tip or a beer and join Psychopod - a party I never got invited to so I had to throw it myself. Waiting for people to come is always the most exiting part. What are you doing this evening?

PS. Psychopod is not yet in operation so feel free to drop me a question or a comment - for example about the Rooms;  is there an important one that I missed or someone(s) that could be taken together. Thanks!

PPS. Zaadz is filled with groovy pods so why another one? One of the purposes of Psychopod would be to serve as a template to search and re-direct to the pods that are already devoted to specific topics. One could for example pop in the Fun Room, decide the party's kind of died down, and post a link to Sandra's pod. Or invite people to have a cup of chai and discuss the imponderables of life at the Beloved's Teahouse after a visit in the Spirituality Room. Or, post a link to your band's stuff at Michael's pod in the Art Room. So as well as having the party of its own, Psychopod should give out flyers to other parties too. Neat, huh?

In order to grow it is necessary to face things we are afraid to do. Real courage is not, then, doing only what we are capable of doing. Courage to be afraid, if leading to action, is something one can be honestly proud of.

I am learning my lessons slowly. My favourite defense against fear has been intense rationalization, trying to "make sense" of everything. But, as the fox said to the Little Prince in Saint-Exupery's tale: "on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur ; l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux" - important things can be seen with the heart only.

To be free we must walk on. To walk on we must realize we are not there yet. To realize we are not there yet we must stop lying to ourselves. And to stop lying means having the courage to be afraid.

 

While in high school my friend used to train very hard to be a wrestler. Not the North American type, to my dismay, but the classic Greco-Roman style. I would've loved to see him wearing a silly costume with a glittering top hat, tagteaming with Hulk Hogan and the Undertaker. Anyway, his coach at the time said something about the effects of consuming alcohol that has been ringing in my ears lately. He said that one night's worth of drinking nulls the effects of one week's training. But here's the rub: one week of training is pretty weak compared to a lifetime of conditioning.

Establishing a new habit or a skill is just like training in a sport. You try to break free from your current situation by straining your muscles (be they your biceps or your brain) out of their habitual homeostasis, and then you give them enough rest. The real challenge of growth is staying on the middle path between extremes.  "Not too tight, not too loose" is often harder than "too tight" or "too loose".

Personal development is a risky business. Finding your purpose is work enough, and finding the means for its execution often leads to desperate measures. I am about to watch 8 Mile on DVD so I know what I'm talking about. Staying in the middle requires something that is pretty scary: trial and error. Training either too much or too little can be done with a dogged determination or a slacker attitude, respectively, but actually finding your own way of growing needs trying out what works for you and what doesn't. And that means surrendering to the pain of learning from our mistakes. That surrender can only happen when we realize that lack is life. More on that later, now it's time for some desperate living. Honey, will you bring the popcorn?